Friday, October 26, 2007
not excited. anymore. sigh.
honestly, i WAS really looking forward to the day next week. but you know what, i am not feeling the same way today and tomorrow and the day after. a part of me is rather skeptical. there's a mixture of emotions. nervous, anxious, excited.. scared even? haha. so weird.on a lighter note, i have requested a day off next Friday. and it is approved! hurray.
will be working later on (friday afternoon) from 2 to 5pm. i'm planning to meet the boyfriend after work. hopefully he'll be free. *prays hard*
thank you to the friend who has been keeping me sane all these while. i really appreciate all the efforts, really. i will try my best not to disappoint you. i realise i need my parent-friend more than i think i do. oh wells, whatever it is, thank you again.
-fa-
ps: my hati sakit.. (places overlapping palms across my heart.. HAHA.)
Posted by me at 1:41 AM
Monday, October 22, 2007
deal with it, farah..
it was the most shittiest feeling i have ever felt.but i believe things happen for a reason.
i believe there is a blessing in disguise behind all that.
and i do believe God has His reasons for it.
-fa-
Posted by me at 1:22 AM
Saturday, October 20, 2007
please?
i really really hope i get to meet and spend some quality time with the boyfriend tmr cause it really feels like it has been ages since we did that together.
you have no idea how much i miss him already.
Dear God, please make tmr a fantastic day for me. please.
thank you.
-fa-
Posted by me at 1:27 AM
Thursday, October 18, 2007
mentally disturbed.
i realise something. all my life i've always looked for confirmation. all my life i've always looked for approval of my actions. it's always.. "am i doing this right?", "is it good for me?", "are we exclusive yet?" etc etc. bloody insecure, i know. but that's me. i need all that shit.perhaps i've always been daddy's little girl. whatever the case may be, it's really not that i'm looking for praises. it's not. trust me. in fact, i dun quite react well to praises. but ya la, it's always nice to know that you love me. to know that you actually do care about me. something which i have to ask myself time and again.
honestly, there are a few things i'm battling with myself. and i sure hope i'm not fighting a losing battle. because i love you. and i dun wanna lose you. but i bet you already know all that. i sometimes wonder if it actually makes a difference whenever i say it.
maybe i'm just talking a whole load of crap today. maybe i'm driven a bit more by my emotions than i normally would. i dunno. in fact, there's A LOT of things i do not know. it's always questions and more questions. rhetorical questions they seem to be.
i''ll be working tmr (thursday) from 5.30 to 9.30pm. truthfully speaking, from an outsider's point of view, my job is a no-brainer. super easy. but actually, it isn't so much like that. there are procedures to follow. you gotta be fast and accurate. i thank God there's a proper system there where they do things.
BUT even though the job may be draining, i find myself looking forward to work, to the business of the job. also, half expecting to get scolded when i do things wrongly. why? cos only then, will i learn and be better at my job. i also realise when you do things you like, when you have interest in whatever you're doing, it will be much easier for you.
then again, it's only my first week of work. we'll see how it goes. but this question did cross my mind though.
"did i do the right thing by taking up a job during my vacation? or shouldn't i have done it?"
there was a reason why i asked myself that. but, i won't write it down here. ask me if you really give a shit about me. goodnight..
-fa-
ps: no pictures for the time being. blogger's being such a girl by not letting me upload them.
Posted by me at 12:45 AM
Friday, October 12, 2007
random thought..
when someone, specifically, a guy, wants to get to know a girl, claiming that he wanna be friends and then disappear after being told that she already has a boyfriend, she should know that he definitely had other motives up his sleeves. but, that's not too bad actually. the girl is considered pretty lucky.
the girl is not so lucky when a guy with the same other motives continue to pursue and use his skills to try and lure the girl even AFTER being told that she already has a boyfriend. now, that's a more dangerous game he is playing. and if the girl plays along, that's an even more dangerous game they are both playing.
why have i suddenly thought of such things at a time like this? at 5.54am to be exact. that's because a friend of mine was telling me about this particular someone another friend told him about just a few days ago. let's call this someone Smarty-Pants. (dun you laugh now. i'm serious!)
so basically, from what i gather, Smarty-Pants, to me, is what i would call a true 'smart' player. he targets a girl, someone preferably an easy target; or not, he doesn't care. then gets to know her, date her out a few times, at the same time psychoing by sweet-talking her, sleeps with her many times and then dump her nicely. believe it or not, it seems that his success rate is pretty high. damn you, human!
oh wait, and the best part is? he doesn't care if the girl has a boyfriend or not. scheisse!
i dunno ah. the whole story about that guy and how he is successful luring women, especially those who are taken is rather disturbing to me. makes me feel unsafe. and somehow, im pretty sure he's not the only one. there are plenty of guys like him out there.
i guess what im saying is that we females should just be extra cautious when a guy we just met is being extra nice to us. cos honestly, they do want something in return. and trust me, it's not just friendship they want.
haha. i sound so paranoid.
-fa-
ps: to the guys, shame on you if Smarty-Pants sounds like i'm describing who you are.
Posted by me at 5:43 AM
Thursday, October 11, 2007
dad's birthday at the airport on 10th October 2007..
my wonderful parents.. 
my younger brother..
the place where we had the birthday dinner..
look, she's so happy. and btw, that's the newly-renovated skytrain at t2.. 
sooo cheeky.. 
eee, geramnyeee.. 
i cannot get enough of you, Syaza.. 
"don't look at me. i'm innocent.."
just us siblings..
us siblings, again..
my 'action-fierce' brother..
my 'dorky' brother.. hah!
my protective brothers.. yes, even the younger one.. hehh..and so we celebrated my dad's 53rd birthday (ahh, still so young) at airport's Swensen's. Gosh, two Swensen's trips in half a week! i must be crazy. well, no presents for the dad this year. just a birthday treat from us. :)
last terawih session tonight. last fasting day tomorrow. how fast time flies. and nope, not looking forward to raya this year. i'd rather stay at home and sleep, really. though i know the possibility of that happening is.. ZERO. haha!
could it be that i feel the meaning of raya is lost? could it be because i feel it is so over-rated? maybe it's just the possibility of running into people i don't quite fancy that much? i dunno. whatever it is, let's just hope it won't be as bad as i think it would be.
and you know what, i think every one needs a devil's advocate in their life at one point or another. though having a devil's advocate could really annoy the shit out of you and make you lose faith in yourself, they could also help you in more ways than one. right now, i only have one person that could fit that position perfectly in mind. and i think he knows who he is.
and they say i'm left-brain dominant. guess what? i think so too.
-fa-
Posted by me at 4:39 PM
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
outing with rai to marina square..
in marina square's women toilet..
in the toilet, again..
me and rai doing that mirror-shot..
i had fish and chips..
rai had breaded chicken with chips..
we had calamari rings as the side..
me and rai.. without flash..
me and rai.. with flash this time..the late afternoon was spent with rai around city hall area. first up, accompanied her to NUM to get her haviana slippers. not cheap, okay. hahaa. then, we proceeded to marina square. walked around aimlessly and updated each other on the stuffs that has been happening.
then, we went to Cavana to break fast. that was around 6.40pm. however, the place was packed and filled with this particular group of people and that, somehow, made us feel a bit uncomfortable. plus, the seats that were left sucked. so, rai suggested swensen's instead. good call, babe!
talked some more over dinner and shared a dessert as we were both quite full already. but too bad, i had forgotten to take a pic of that Frosted Chocolate Malt we ordered. heh.
after dinner, we walked back to city hall and headed home. it is always nice hanging out with her, really. i guess she's one of the very few friends of mine who is really sincere and isn't judgmental and because of that, it makes me feel very comfortable being around her.
damn, i'm so touchy-feely. eew. haha! goodnight, world!
-fa-
Posted by me at 12:30 AM
Sunday, October 7, 2007
turns out good, afterall.
woke up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday. and trust me, it rarely happens to me. yesterday was just one of those days la, i guess. plus, i had this really uneasy/uncomfortable feeling about something but i just can't put my finger on what the actual problem is. weird, weird.and so in the afternoon, i decided to go meet the boyfriend in the end. looks like with him, i can't be egoistic for too long. heh. and also because i've missed him too much, i was thinking, i'd be really stupid if i get my damn ego get the better side of me. but then again, i tell you, i have not much ego to begin with. so yeah, makes it all the easier. haha!
whatever it is, i had a really good time. it feels really really nice to be near/around/beside the boyfriend. told you i'm pretty much an easily contented person. which, may not be a good thing all the time. haha. though what disappointed me a little was the fact that my boyfriend might be away on my birthday. -pout- but oh wells, it's okay. i shall be the understanding girlfriend and not complain. hehee.
and they say, opposites attract. oh, how true.
Posted by me at 2:23 AM
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
sakae sushi outing on 1st Oct..
unagi. i think that would have to be my favourite dish. salmon teriyaki comes close behind. heh.
the usual sushis..
and that's the disgusting green tea noodle. haha.
my elder brother.
farhana. my brother's friend.
my shy younger brother. 
and finally, say hello to the boyfriend. (tengok la. he refuse to pose a nice picture for me. cekik darah betol. haha.)dinner at sakae sushi followed by a round of dessert/drinks at tcc. it was nice to have the boyfriend and siblings out at the same time. oh btw, you know what mummy said when she saw the pictures?
"wah, first time mama tengok Sadat pakai white." HAHA. and the best part? i wore white on that day too! totally unplanned and purely coincidental. how nice. hehh.
-fa-